Siren song

I have an email from one of our practitioners in Reverse Therapy relating to my blog on Christmas Stress.

"The big thing I got from your course was realising I was tied into relationships that were really bad for me and for my children. I would never have had the courage to get out without the help of the course and now in the run up to Christmas when there is so much pressure from other people to reconnect with family, listening to Bodymind is keeping me safe and strong. Without it, I suspect I would buckle under the pressure. I keep getting visual images of you talking about the Emperor's New Clothes and how everything in Headmind is really a delusion and that helps keep me on track."

This got me thinking about that story from the Odyssey by way of a metaphor about seduction.

Odysseus and his crew have to sail through the lair of the Sirens (half women, half birds of prey) on their voyage home.  Forewarned by Circe they know that listening to the singing will drive them mad with desire. That anyone who listens to it will dive overboard and be eaten. But Odysseus is also curious, so he commands the crew to stop up their ears with wax and tie him to the mast. No matter how he struggles they are not to listen to his ravings and keep rowing. When the Sirens appear he is bewitched by the lure of their voices and begs to be let loose. But the crew ignore him and sail calmly on.

Homer seems to have anticipated brain science by at least 3000 years. For we know now that the way people look when they are speaking to us, versus the words they use, lock on to different brain centres. Language is processed in the left temporal lobe (just above and forward from your ear) and then by the frontal cortex (Headmind analysis). But face recognition is processed by the right temporal lobe and then, immediately, by the limbic system (Bodymind emotional evaluation). 

So, while we are easily drawn in by what people say to us we are much less easily fooled by the way they look when they are trying to persuade us. Put another way, Bodymind picks up on non-verbal cues to detect the sincerity and good intentions of the person in front of you. Then it creates an emotion (uncomfortable gut feelings, excitement, fear, etc) to tell you what kind of relationship you might be getting in to. But Headmind pays way too much attention to what is being said, rather than how it is being said.

So - next time you are feeling confused by what exactly people want from you - put some ear-plugs on and watch. As a man who has been profoundly deaf since 3 years old, I can promise you that you will notice far more than if you just listened.

I should add that, although you will become a very good bullshit-detector, the disadvantage is that you will be unable take certain classes of people - TV presenters, celebrities and politicians seriously. Their body language is just too phony.

    'What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things.'
                                                                                             Margaret Mead (Anthropologist)