Feel the fear and do it anyway

After I wrote about Why Self-Help Books Don't Work I received two emails from readers asking if there were any self-help books I did like.

If we define 'self-help' as advice on how to flirt, make money, be famous, etc then, I don't think any of them work, with one exception - Susan Jeffers' book 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway'.

The books I really like are what I call 'wisdom books' - ones that help you see your way through life more clearly. Here's a short list:

• The Four Agreements. Don Miguel Ruiz
• Awareness. Anthony de Mello
• Everyday Zen. Charlotte Joko Beck.
• There is Nothing Wrong With You. Cheri Huber.
• The Consolations of Philosophy. Alain de Botton.
• The Happiness Hypothesis. Jonathan Haidt.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway shows you how to beat anxiety. It is based on an astonishingly simple idea that works: whatever your worries are, ignore them. And get on with doing whatever it is you want to do.

Jeffers uses the word 'fear' when I think she should use the word 'worry'. The examples she gives in the book relate to anxiety rather than fear.

Fear is a useful emotion which keeps you away from danger; worry is a useless head-mind state that keeps you trapped in 'what-if' thinking.

No matter, the method still works. I found that out about sixteen years ago when I got into financial trouble and would spend weeks worrying about going bankrupt. Instead of doing something about it I would waste time day-dreaming about the disasters of the future. What was worse, worry stopped me from taking risks and I would say 'no' to projects that could make money later but would take time to mature.

Interestingly, Susan Jeffers describes how worries are passed on by the 'Chatterbox' - the frightening inner voice that belongs to what we call 'Headmind'.

The moment I stopped listening to the Chatterbox, I called the bank and arranged a bigger overdraft and got on with my work. I barely noticed it when, months, later, we returned to solvency - I was too busy getting on with life. But it was a useful lesson learned that I later on applied to Reverse Therapy.

'Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling      of helplessness.' Susan Jeffers