The danger of words

I truly believe words can keep you stuck. Or make you ill. Or anxious. Or depressed.

I have quite a few clients in these stress-ridden times that are doing a good job of making themselves dysfunctional through the language they use to describe their predicament.

One says: 'I just can't cope anymore.'

A second says: 'This year has just been a series of disasters.'

A third says: 'Things are so-so. I can't pretend they're good.'

When you're a therapist, or a coach, part of your job is to teach people how to use the language of change. Which means teaching them to use language in a way that creates possibilities rather than disaster.

So I would ask:

'Which bits did you cope with?'

'Yes...I know about the disasters...but let's talk about how you've been getting on since you saw me last.'

'You don't have to pretend at all. Only Headmind tries to do that. Now let's focus on the things that Bodymind has been encouraging you to do...'

But the fact is that abstract phrases like 'cope', 'disasters' and 'can't pretend' close down thought rather than opening it up to possibility.

To that end we might be better off when the Chinese conquer Europe and we are forced to learn Mandarin. Because Mandarin Chinese is a pictorial language rather than a sound-based language it relies on images to convey meaning rather than words.

The advantage is that their communications are conveyed in a way that favours Bodymind rather than Headmind. Because the idea is expressed in terms of experiences rather than abstractions.

Consider the Chinese ideogram for 'Crisis' that is expressed on the upper right.

The top image represents 'danger' while the lower one represents 'opportunity'.

That seems to me to be a much richer idea than the panic and paralysis that descends on people when the word 'crisis' is used.

Which leads me to remind you that Bodymind wisdom is based on present-focused, immediate experience rather than Headmind words and thoughts.

      'Words are the most powerful drugs used by mankind'

       Rudyard Kipling.

Comments

[joanne Houston]

Hi John,

This is really interesting especially as I have been reading about the origins of tai chi. It seems no energy is wasted by the chinese on words or movement. With this foundation I wondered if cfs/ me/ anxiety are illnesses afflicting the chinese? Have you had many chinese clients?

It would be interesting to find out the proportion of chinese people with dyslexia/ dyspraxia. Poppy would find it much easier to communicate in images. She has always been able to copy pictures in great detail but not words or numbers

Food for thought (not in a headmind way!)

Hope you are well and se you on Monday

Jo x

[John Eaton]

Hi Jo
Unfortunately, I have very little information on Chinese approaches to these problems.

I am aware that the Chinese approach to depression (I believe the ideogram they use depicts 'blocked energy') is based on getting the person into active work/play/movement.

I would be fascinated to learn more about this.