Just as I was going out on Saturday night my wife turns on the television and what I thought was a Channel 4 spoof program came on.
My initial idea was that someone like Ricky Gervais was running a joke version of the Eurovision Song Contest along the lines of the This is Spinal Tap rockumentary at the same time the reality version was running.
Bubble-gum pop, 1970s space-age costumes, impossible hair-styles, fake sexual excitement, and meaningless lyrics about lurve....wait a minute....this is the real Eurovision Song Contest....isn't it?
As a a life-long student of human fakery, here's the thing that struck me the most: the plastic make-up, ghastly smiles and warbling voices prove that you can't fake body language no matter how many coaches you have!
You won't convince people that you are overcome by passion if you haven't got any. The reason for that is that Bodymind instinctively detects insincerity by pattern-matching non-verbal signals from other people against its database of emotional behavior. And when it notices fakes it will cue an emotional release like disgust.
Here is another list of TV people with fake emotions that leave me with laughter, disgust and pity:
- BBC newscasters 'flirting' with each other on the morning news with artificial smirks
- Up-for-election politicians looking at the autocue while they deliver 'an inspiring message' (and - yes - that does include Barack Obama)
- Actors dropping their jaw muscles when they want to look 'concerned' (now there's an attitude that is very difficult to fake)
- Members of the British Royal family hiding their boredom in public
- On-screen counsellors staring into the camera and pretending to feel empathy for anonymous callers
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