Reverse Thinking

Reducing your comfort zone

This is the fourth in a series of articles on the Enneagram. To read my previous posts on The Enneagram click here.

Gurdjieff, who first introduced the Enneagram into the West, taught that work on oneself was essential if people were not to fall into ego-sleep. The way into sleep is easy: identification with Headmind, self-satisfaction, habit, routine, an acceptance of 'the way things are', and then a kind of mechanical death in which you grow old very quickly.

Work on oneself entails moving out of your personal comfort zone, developing Personal Genius and moving away from personal slavery: the sum total of routines, attitudes, bananas, worries, habits, addictions and Headmind ideas that  keep you stuck in as a fully paid-up member of the herd.

Gurdjieff believed that friction was necessary for personal growth. By 'friction' he meant interactions with people and situations which challenged your comfort zone, your ego, or your fixed personality. There is a story about Gurdjieff that illustrates this pretty well. During the 1920s he managed a school in Fontainebleau-Avon, near Paris, in which pupils warred against sleep and worked on personal development. But one 'pupil' - a Russian - was widely resented. He did little work, continually moaned about other pupils and was scathing about Gurdjieff himself, whom he described as a 'con-man'. When a deputation went eventually to Gurdjieff to demand his removal from the school; they were surprised to learn that Gurdjieff was actually paying the man to stay there and wind people up - in order to create opportunities for personal growth for the 'real' students. 

The Enneagram describes the nine most common comfort zones for each of the types. When reading them, please bear in mind that, irrespective of  your personal Enneagram number right now, all of us are tempted, or can be tempted, to indulge in these comfort zones, at any time.
 
The One: takes comfort in judging others. Avoids discomfort by finding reasons why s/he is better, or more talented, or cleverer, or more moral than the rest of us (instead of empathizing with their mistakes). The one type is common amongst teachers. 

The Two: takes comfort in fussing over others. Avoids discomfort by lambasting people for being ungrateful, selfish, unappreciative (instead of empathizing with their need for self-protection). The Two type is common amongst care-givers.

The Three: takes comfort in workaholism. Avoids discomfort by criticising others for being lazy, inefficient and disobedient (instead of empathizing with their need for leisure). The Three type is common amongst managers and go-getters.

The Four: takes comfort in exhibitionism. Avoids discomfort by mocking people for being ordinary, 'part of the crowd', or 'conformists' (instead of empathizing with their need for lifestyle balance) - and by ignoring their own mediocrity. The Four type is common amongst adolescents of all ages.

The Five: takes comfort in being in control. Avoids discomfort by avoiding other people, or by silently criticising others for their 'superficiality', 'gross behaviour', or 'lack of understanding' (instead of empathizing with their need to live in the moment). The Five type is common amongst loners.

The Six: takes comfort in acceptance by others. Avoids discomfort through obedience, and by suppressing self-assertion. Criticizes others for being 'selfish', 'deviant', 'team-wreckers'  (instead of empathizing with their need to think for themselves). The Six type is common amongst conformists of all types.

The Seven: takes comfort in pleasure: sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Avoids discomfort through addictions, and, also, fanatasies about a happier life in the future. The Seven criticizes others for being 'boring', 'dead', or 'lacking in drive' (rather than empathizing with their need for self-preservation). The  Seven is probably the second-most common Enneagram type right now, after the Nine.

The Eight: takes comfort in power, arguments, control, bullying. Avoids discomfort through fighting, conflict, sex and arguments. The Eight is common amongst politicians, industrialists, and therapists. Criticizes others for being 'weak', 'sheep', or 'victims' (instead of empathizing with their love for other people).

The Nine: takes comfort in 'chilling out' and doing nothing. Avoids discomfort by steering clear of honest opinions, confrontation, hard work, stress, or engagement with people with different  opinions. Criticizes others for being 'argumentative', 'trouble-makers', or for 'stirring things up' (instead of empathizing with their need for change. The Nine is the most common Enneagram ego-type. (Note: Homer Simpson is a classic Nine).

Connecting to the genius in you

This is the third in a series of articles on the Enneagram. To read the first two articles click here.

In the last article I wrote about Enneagram weaknesses: how we develop a false personality by getting fixated on the way we appear to other people.

Today I want to write about Enneagram strengths. Specifically, how each of the Nine types, when the person is at a highly developed stage and is free of the ego, can be an expression of your Personal Genius.

In previous articles on Personal Genius I have described how your Genius is an expression of the divine in you. Your Genius drives you on to become the best you can be and fulfil your personal mission. It cares nothing for the approval of others; it is only concerned with making the world a better place.

My experience is that most of us are naturally drawn towards becoming one of the NIne types. Some of us make the mistake of getting hung up on approval from others, so we end  up with weaknesses rather than strengths. Some of us mistakenly identify with a lower type (usually out of  cowardice) and lose our divine mission altogether. But some of us go for one of the types, in a healthy way, because that type resonates most with our personal mission, how we see our selves impacting on the world.

Here is how each of the Enneagram types, in their original, untainted, glory seeks to express Personal Genius:

The One is a Reformer. Wants to help people  become better, purer and more honest. Ones are often Teachers, Writers, Preachers. Many great religious leaders are Ones. Example: Leo Tolstoy.

The Two is a Nurturer. Wants to help people be more loving and forgiving. The  developed  Two  tries to set an example through self-sacrificing compassion for others. Example: Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

The Three is a Manager. Seeks to make things more efficient for the common good. At their  best they make great managers, leaders and (respected) politicians. Example: Barack Obama.

The Four is an Artist. They can be artists with words, images, fabrics, sounds - or  even artists of life. They want to bring out the playful, creative, and original in people. They may be designers, writers and artists; or they may come across as intensely fascinating and original people in their own right. Example: Van Gogh.

The Five is concerned with Knowledge. They are  clear-thinking, objective, often brilliant - experts in at least one field. They make great teachers, scientists and philosophers. On a smaller scale they make good advisors: consultants, therapists and coaches. Example: Albert Einstein.

The Six is a Helper. They want to  make the world a friendlier place. They  sacrifice themselves for the good of the community. They prefer to work behind the scenes, keeping the family together, building up the team at work, or helping in community schemes and  organisations. Example: Princess Diana.

The Seven wants to help people become more intensely alive. They are extroverts who are fun to be with, and who bring out the best in people.  They like to entertain and make great comedians, musicians and stage performers. Or they may just  be the life and soul of the party. Example: Mick Jagger.

The Eight wants to  protect others. This  drives them on to be leaders in some way. They may  fight  for the rights of an oppressed minority, or they may want to rescue people who are in trouble.  They are natural fighters who will champion any cause they have taken to heart. Example: Martin Luther King.

The Nine is a Harmonizer. They  try to see the world through other peoples eyes and understand  how each person sees things differently. Then they  seek to bring people together and promote mutual understanding and forgiveness.

Many Enneagram teachers (including me) believe that becoming a developed Nine who is able to become any of the other 8 types, in an impersonal way, is our ultimate goal. Unlike all the other types, the Nine is not drawn to any particular vocation. Example: William Shakespeare.

Enneagram II

This is the second in a series of articles on the Enneagram and, if you haven't read it yet, it would be a good idea to read the first article here.

Some of you may have taken one of the two Enneagram Personality tests I recommended in that article. If you did then it is important to remind you of the following principle:

Whichever of the Nine Enneagram 'personalities' you think you have (or scored highest for) you should fight as hard as you can not to be that particular way. In short, you should lose that ossified way of being.

For example, until recently I scored high for the Number 8. Here is a description of the Eight by The Enneagram Institute:

Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

In order to avoid the fate of becoming fixated on strength (and thereby making myself obsessional about it) I had to let go of the banana about having to 'be in control'. In point of fact I never particularly wanted to be in control of anything until I became a well-known therapist. After that point my Headmind decided that it had something to prove to people who did therapy or training with me, and then the banana about having to be 'strong' started to work on me. Before that particular delusion took over I usually scored high on the Number 5 personality. Here is a description of that one from the same source:

Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation.

I would guess that I was a 'Five' all the way from my teenage years until about 10 years ago, when I learnt to see through that false ego. What drove it was my emerging experience of being typed as 'deaf and therefore 'stupid' and 'inadequate'. That was why I went for one banana about having to be a know-all and another one about having to live in an ivory tower. Neither obsession did me any good.

Here are the fixations that go with each of the nine types.

The One: Has to be in the right. Must never be in the wrong. The Perfectionist.

The Two: Has to look after others. Must never be rejected. The Martyr.

The Three. Has to be a success. Must never be second-best. The Workaholic.

The Four. Has to be admired. Must never be ignored. The Show-off.

The Five. Has to know everything. Must never be caught out. The Loner.

The Six. Has to belong. Must never stand out from the crowd. The Conformist.

The Seven. Has to be happy. Must not be sad. The Addict.

The Eight. Has to be in Control. Must not be weak. The Bully.

The Nine. Has to be inside the Comfort Zone. Must not get stressed. The Slob.

Enneagram

This is the first in the series of articles about the Enneagram.

The Enneagram is a method through which you can understand human personality. There are 9 personality types, which I will describe in later articles.

I have written about Personality - and also about the Ego - before. In the system of Reverse Therapy, your personality/ego is a creation of Headmind, which bears no relation to who you actually are.

A common problem with  Enneagram books is that they try to label people as belonging to a certain 'type'. Nothing could be further from the truth. All that knowing someone's Enneagram type will tell you is how far they have got stuck in Headmind.

You are far more than your personality. Somewhere, deep down, you possess a Personal Genius which holds  the personality you give out to others in contempt, and which seeks to break free of it. Personal Genius, if anything can be, is your real self. But you have no control over it for that was given to you at birth.

Your Enneagram personality, by contrast, is something you need to work on in order to abolish it. Your personality is not you; rather it is your Prison.

The ideal, the goal, is to become ego-less and to cease to possess a personality.

Only then can you become that which you are truly are. Gurdjieff, the originator of the Enneagram taught precisely this.

Before you read the second article in this series you might want to take the Enneagram test and here are two:

Eclectic Energies (This is a free test which is reasonably accurate).

The Riso Hudson test (The Riso-Hudson test is the most thorough test currently available. It costs $10.00).