Reverse Thinking

How not to be a slave

This is the fourth, and final article, on how to become the person you always were. Or, to use another terminology, to exercise your Personal Genius.

The first article in the series was Why it's ok to be a bit weird, the second was How to be strange and the third was How to be unique.

This one is about how to get free of personal slavery. For, so long as you are a slave to opinions, to convention, to other people, to your ego, or to routine, then you cannot really be you.

For some free spirits slavery to convention is the worst. Which means doing what your parents and teachers always told you to do; or following along the mores of what the 'right' people do - the people you went to school with, or the people in your church, your company, your club, your neighbourhood and so forth. So that you end up speaking with the same accent, dressing the same way, behaving the same way, and, what is most despicable - judging, excluding or persecuting people who don't follow that same 'right' way of life. 

For other fans of enlightenment slavery to opinion is the worst. That means thinking the same way as the majority. Sharing the same newspapers, the same TV programs, the same politics, the same religion and the same prejudices. And although I don't read newspapers, rarely watch TV, don't vote and don't subscribe to any single religion, I certainly agree that Headmind slavery can be a problem. In this respect I remind my readers that dumb thinking is one sure path to unhappiness and illness, as well as slavery.

Sceptics throughout history have argued that slavery to gurus is pretty bad too. But since I have also written about that subject in a prior blog article I won't go over that ground again here.

Likewise I have also written elsewhere about slavery to personal 'bananas', the ego, and personality. 

Now I agree that if you really want to be someone worth paying attention to then you are going to have to ruthlessly discard conventions, ideas and obsessions you have always taken for granted. You are also going to have to get out of your comfort zone.  Although that is hard work (the work of a life-time, in fact) the rewards - in terms of personal fulfilment - are unspeakable.

But, for me, the worst form of slavery is the one most of us take for granted. And that is slavery to routine: doing the same things, in the same way, at the same time, in the same place, with the same people, every day. Right down to the way you dress yourself, eat your food, drive your car, do the shopping, surf the internet, walk the dog, take a nap, smoke cigarettes, have a drink and so on and on and on. So that life becomes a kind of mechanical, living death. So that you go to sleep and stay there. So that life just passes you by without you ever really exercising Awareness.

The reason this is the worst kind of slavery is that, in it, Bodymind dies slowly. And when that happens the brain loses neuroplasticity. Which means that the cells in the brain (as well as those 2 trillion cells in the body that communicate to it) either die off or become rigid. Which, in turn, means that you become a zombie incapable of changing, evolving, or learning anything new.

For me, slavery to habit is the basis for all the other kinds of slavery mentioned above. Simply because it keeps you asleep. Avoiding premature death is hard work but it is simple too. All you have to do is break one habit every day. 

 

Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. Oscar Wilde.

 

 

How to be unique

This is a continuation of my series on becoming the person you were always meant to be. The last article in the series was How to be strange. And the one before that was Why it's ok to be a bit weird.

A second way to be strange, weird or unique is to be an incontrovertible expert in something. Or in two things. Or in three, four, five things. To become an authority on them in fact.

Now it helps if you choose subjects that a lot of other people are fascinated by. But it isn't strictly necessary. For example, if you choose to become an expert on Palmistry or reading the Tarot then I can guarantee you a ready audience from personal experience for the simple reason that most people are fascinated by the occult, even when they pooh-pooh it. But if you decide to become, instead, an expert on Egyptian hieroglyphics the fact that you know a lot about something practically nobody knows anything about will give you a certain cachet - which is a source of pride to you, even if you happen never to speak about it. For the simple reason that Knowledge equals Power.

Another, very good, choice is to become an expert in solving problems that everybody struggles with. For example: money management, child care, dealing with difficult people, employment law, maintaining a house, etc. Knowing a lot about those things will usually mean that you end up becoming an advisor of some kind - that, too, is a great way to exploring your personal power. 

One word of warning, however. Whatever project you choose, it helps to be guided by your Personal Genius.

 

 

 

Amadeus

 

 

 

Apologies to my readers for my absence recently; I am ill with one of those weird, flu-like viruses that are going the rounds.

It gives me the chance to sit downstairs in my dressing-gown and go through my DVD collection again, catching up on some old favourites.

One of those is Amadeus, which I have seen at least twice before, but which brought tears to my eyes when I saw it again. One reason for that was the music of the divine Mozart. Another reason was the central story-line: the confusion and rage that genius provokes in people around them, and the tragedy that frequently results.

There is a riveting, Oscar-winning performance by Murray Abraham as Antonio Salieri, the composer who is driven mad by what he calls 'the creature' - Mozart. Salieri is a good guy: he is humble, loves his work, strives to help and teach others, is a loyal servant of the Emperor Joseph II, and wants only to serve God by becoming a better musician. Yet he becomes bitter, and is eventually driven insane, by the thought that a loud-mouthed, dirty-minded, sex-obsessed, arrogant, idiot is, nevertheless, performing the most perfect music ever written. Without forethought, without notes and, sometimes even, without a score-sheet in front of him.

Although the script exaggerates, we know that Mozart, in private life, was fond of partying and, like Beethoven, was fond of the bottle, a factor which may have contributed to his death from rheumatic fever at the age of 35. He was not an educated person and, when not composing, was frequently in the tavern playing billiards, cards and practical jokes on other people.

In one scene Salieri attends a masked ball, at which Mozart is also present. Mozart loses a game of musical chairs and his forfeit is to play a theme on the piano in the style of Bach, then the same theme backwards without looking at the keyboard, then, comically, in the style of Salieri, ending with a tremendous fart.

Salieri swears to take vengeance on God for mocking him and using the creature to do so.

For those of us who have spent time studying the way in which Headmind, and the Ego, work, Salieri's mistakes become clear from the film:

He is not really interested in music for it's own sake, but in fame.

He does not have a genius for musical composition, but only for teaching music to others,

He is deluded by his status at the court of Joseph II and imagines that he is more important than he really is.

He won't accept his own genius for what it is, and be satisfied with what he can do, rather than with what he cannot do.

He wants to 'own' Mozart and remodel him to his own way of thinking, and becomes jealous when this proves impossible

He imagines that life should somehow be fair, and reward him for having good thoughts.

He does not see (until the very end) that Mozart's genius extracts a terrible price from Mozart himself.

Perhaps the greatest scene is the one at the very end (although this one is the most fictional of them all). Salieri tries to finish Mozart by first commissioning him to write the Requiem (Mozart's final, posthumous, work) and then forcing him to finish it even while he is on his death-bed. But even he is moved by the final few hours of genius at work.

The scene is the one I have included from Youtube.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Connecting to the genius in you

This is the third in a series of articles on the Enneagram. To read the first two articles click here.

In the last article I wrote about Enneagram weaknesses: how we develop a false personality by getting fixated on the way we appear to other people.

Today I want to write about Enneagram strengths. Specifically, how each of the Nine types, when the person is at a highly developed stage and is free of the ego, can be an expression of your Personal Genius.

In previous articles on Personal Genius I have described how your Genius is an expression of the divine in you. Your Genius drives you on to become the best you can be and fulfil your personal mission. It cares nothing for the approval of others; it is only concerned with making the world a better place.

My experience is that most of us are naturally drawn towards becoming one of the NIne types. Some of us make the mistake of getting hung up on approval from others, so we end  up with weaknesses rather than strengths. Some of us mistakenly identify with a lower type (usually out of  cowardice) and lose our divine mission altogether. But some of us go for one of the types, in a healthy way, because that type resonates most with our personal mission, how we see our selves impacting on the world.

Here is how each of the Enneagram types, in their original, untainted, glory seeks to express Personal Genius:

The One is a Reformer. Wants to help people  become better, purer and more honest. Ones are often Teachers, Writers, Preachers. Many great religious leaders are Ones. Example: Leo Tolstoy.

The Two is a Nurturer. Wants to help people be more loving and forgiving. The  developed  Two  tries to set an example through self-sacrificing compassion for others. Example: Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

The Three is a Manager. Seeks to make things more efficient for the common good. At their  best they make great managers, leaders and (respected) politicians. Example: Barack Obama.

The Four is an Artist. They can be artists with words, images, fabrics, sounds - or  even artists of life. They want to bring out the playful, creative, and original in people. They may be designers, writers and artists; or they may come across as intensely fascinating and original people in their own right. Example: Van Gogh.

The Five is concerned with Knowledge. They are  clear-thinking, objective, often brilliant - experts in at least one field. They make great teachers, scientists and philosophers. On a smaller scale they make good advisors: consultants, therapists and coaches. Example: Albert Einstein.

The Six is a Helper. They want to  make the world a friendlier place. They  sacrifice themselves for the good of the community. They prefer to work behind the scenes, keeping the family together, building up the team at work, or helping in community schemes and  organisations. Example: Princess Diana.

The Seven wants to help people become more intensely alive. They are extroverts who are fun to be with, and who bring out the best in people.  They like to entertain and make great comedians, musicians and stage performers. Or they may just  be the life and soul of the party. Example: Mick Jagger.

The Eight wants to  protect others. This  drives them on to be leaders in some way. They may  fight  for the rights of an oppressed minority, or they may want to rescue people who are in trouble.  They are natural fighters who will champion any cause they have taken to heart. Example: Martin Luther King.

The Nine is a Harmonizer. They  try to see the world through other peoples eyes and understand  how each person sees things differently. Then they  seek to bring people together and promote mutual understanding and forgiveness.

Many Enneagram teachers (including me) believe that becoming a developed Nine who is able to become any of the other 8 types, in an impersonal way, is our ultimate goal. Unlike all the other types, the Nine is not drawn to any particular vocation. Example: William Shakespeare.

What to do when you meet a guru

In Reverse Therapy we teach people that no one is wiser than anyone else. That the only expert that there can be on your life is you. Bodymind and your Personal Genius should be your sole teachers (along with those very few partners and friends who understand both).

Gurus are people who claim to know more about how you should live your life than you do yourself. Some of them have good advice to give; most do not. And even those who know something you don't may not know an awful lot of things that you do.  But the worst problem is that many gurus are, in fact, undesirables. Like:

          Gandhi (Bully, Nazi-supporter)

          Gurdjieff (Alcoholic/food addict)

          Stalin (Alcoholic)

Adolf Hitler (Sexual pervert)

Mao-Zedong (Sadist)

L. Ron Hubbard (Sexual abuser)

The Maharishi (Sex pest)

Osho (Sex addict - also had unresolved Chronic fatigue syndrome)

Charles Manson (Murderer)

Jim Jones (Sex addict).

The list isn't just restricted to these famous names. There are many therapists, self-help experts and politicians out there with similar attitudes. I also know of a few famous (and not so well-known) gurus still alive whose private activities have little to do with their preachings.

If you set someone else up as your guide to life then you are giving away your power, your self-respect and your mind. You are forcing yourself to wear somebody else's spectacles. You may even have become a member of the herd that follows that particular leader. I have written before about how slavery can be bad for your personal health. In another post - Murderous obedience - I described how psychological experiments have mapped out the steps through which exaggerated respect for authority can lead to murder.

When you deliver your judgment over to a guru, you are also creating an idol out of that person. And glossing over the fact that that person will be at least as much screwed-up and (sometimes) clueless as you are. In a way that is different from you but just as real.

But the problems that Gurus have as human beings is really by the way as far as you are concerned. The problems they have belong to them, not to you. Your mission in life is to work to reduce your own personal weaknesses while at the same time fulfilling your mission for being here. And no one else can show you how to do that.

Here are some useful clues that will help you spot a guru:

• Claims to have access to a special revelation denied to other people
• Is always right
• Tries to look different to everybody else (flowing robes and uniforms are a favourite)
• Has some weird ideas, mingled with some common-sense ones 
• Claims to have unique powers denied to the rest of us
• Talks a lot about spirituality and/or her god-given mission
• Claims to be saving people from bad forces
• Complete inability to laugh at himself
• Works hard at putting across a 'charismatic' personality
• Will never talk about her private life
• When criticised will either get very aggressive or condescending with you

And here's what to do if one of them comes on to you:

Watch the Mike Myers' movie, The Love Guru (3 times), before parting with your money, your virginity, or your sanity. This will also help recover your sense of humor.

Hire a private detective to find out more about their private life

When they start to preach, laugh  (they will conclude either that you are an idiot or a competitor, and will lose interest either way).

Ask lots of questions. And go on questioning the answers you get.

Keep reminding yourself that no one can know more about your life - and its unique problems and experiences - than you do.

Trust in your Personal Genius.

Schopenhauer - a philosophy for grumpy people?

In my last article - Can feeling grumpy be good for you? I mentioned one of my favourite philosophers - Arthur Schopenhauer - who was a grumpy old man already by the age of 19. I first read him at 15 and developed a 'bah humbug' attitude which was delicious and self-indulgent while it lasted although I no longer think it is clever - or even profound - to be pessimistic about life. Even so, I still think that Schopenhauer possessed a genius for philosophy. (He also wrote a lot about sex).

Here are a few gems:

After your death you will be what you were before       your birth.    

Everyone takes the limit of his own field of vision for the limit of the world.

The conscious mind may be regarded as a kind of parasite of the organism, a pensioner, as it were, who dwells within the body.

If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the sight of a letter/email from that person.

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.

Console yourself by remembering that the world doesn't deserve your affection.

Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.

There is no absurdity so obvious but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to introduce it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.

The closing years of life are like a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.

Compassion is the basis of all morality.

Wicked thoughts and worthless efforts gradually set their mark on the face, especially the eyes.

The greatest of mistakes is to sacrifice health for any other kind of reward.

There is no doubt that life is given us, not to be enjoyed, but to be overcome.

In my next article I will write about the advantages - and disadvantages - of pessimism for life.

The secret of personal genius

For those who have been following my articles on Genius and who are interested in finding out more about their own Personal Genius, and how it works, then I am running a 1-day seminar about this in London on October 31st.

The idea is to help you identify and act upon the dictates of this most mysterious of guardians.

The seminar is open to all and places are limited to 20.

If you would like to see the brochure then you can Download BrochurePersonalGenius here.

Hope to see you there. John.

Image of Mozart by Samu73

Personal Genius II

Recently I have been developing a training program with my friend, Simon Linzell, which shows people how to recognise, channel and unleash personal genius.

Just to remind you, your personal genius is the inner daimon that drives you on to become the person you were truly meant to be.

It is expressed through the unique mix of gifts, talents, desires, inner compulsions and perceptions which make up the person you are. No one can duplicate it; it is your unique personal 'brand'. Nor can you control it - rather your genius controls you and you are its servant.

You cannot be a genius, you can only try to express it.

You don't have to be a creative artist to have genius. Your daimon may prefer to express itself in other ways: sport, caring for others, leadership, science, philosophy, civil rights, religion, communion with Nature, or technological invention - to name just a few modes of expression.

Expressing your personal genius is your personal 'mission' in life - the task you were born for. No one can do this but you. And if you fail to do it you will fall into inauthenticity. When your Bodymind (which exists to guide you towards self-fulfilment) notices that you are running away from your mission then it will create emotions like boredom and frustration. And ignoring those may well trigger the state of dis-ease which can damage your health.

Here are some questions that help you identify experiences in which your personal genius is at work:

Your models

Who did you most admire as a child? Who do you most admire now? The people you chose to model are unconsciously displaying the characteristics to which you most aspire. I have written before about this in Your personal myth.

Favourite art

Similarly, the books, paintings, sculptures, music, architecture reflects the moods and taste of your soul.

Your mentors

Who, in your life, has acted as a mentor, drawing out your inner potential. Your daimon is drawn towards like-minded teachers.

Experiences

What are you drawn towards learning and practicing over and over again? For some people its a particular field of study, for others its an art-form like poetry, dance, literature. But the list is endless, from relationships, being with children, nature (including an attraction to specific localities), animals, the way things work, etc.

Peak experiences

I have written about this before on this link. Ecstasy is Bodymind's way of telling you that you are moving towards self-actualization.

Values

What do you care about the most? Love? Justice? Purity? Personal rights? Freedom? Truth? Individuality? The values you are most passionate about tell us a lot about your personal mission.

Authenticity

Where and when have you most been truly yourself (good or 'bad')? This question is concerned with moments when you have taken a risk and spoken up about, or done something, that mattered to you - no matter what others thought.

I will be writing some more about this topic - its going to be a regular feature on this blog from now on so watch out for more.

Image by oddsock

Your personal myth

This is another way of understanding your personal genius and it is also an entertaining personal exercise.

It's partly based on Carl Jung's idea that we each of us - from a very early age - create our own personal myth. We are attracted to stories, situations and people that help us to make sense of who we are and where we are going.

The heroes we identify with can tell us a lot about ourselves:

• Our gifts and strengths
• Our (perceived) weaknesses
• What we feel called upon to achieve
• The challenges we face
• How we deal with adversity
• Our characteristic approach to other people
• What we rebel against
• How we see life

The myth you create goes a long way towards forming your ego, or your self-image. For example: helper, artist, victim, conqueror, martyr, saviour, survivor, loner or leader.

Here's one way to identify your personal myth:

First identify your favourite childhood story. This could be a film, a book, a fairy story or something else.

Now answer these questions about your story:

• What is this story about?
• What is the moral of the story?
• What are the hero's best qualities?
• Weaknesses she has to struggle against?
• What is his dominant passion?
• What is she here to achieve?
• What does she have to overcome?
• What/who are his enemies?
• How does she relate to people?
• What are his most important values?
• How does she see life?
• What might his epitaph be?

For those of you who are interested my own favourite story - from age 7 onwards - was Pinocchio.

Please share any insights you got from doing this with me - john@reverse-therapy.com

Happy hunting!

Image by nyki_m's

Letting your personal genius loose

In my last post - Losing your personality - I briefly mentioned that developing your genius can free you from the ego. This item explores what that personal genius is.

This blog is a little theoretical but the idea is too important for me to not to try and explain it.

When you understand how personal genius works you will be in a better position to develop it.

                                              Image by axinar.

The word Genius is a translation of the Greek Daimon. In Homer a daimon is either a god or a spirit. Later on, the 'daimon' came to mean a person's guiding spirit, or guardian angel. Some people found this idea a little disturbing and, for them, daimons became 'demons' -something to be repressed and avoided.

The Romans understood daimons as Genii, from which we get both the words 'genie' and 'genius'. A Genie is your personal guide, whom you can contact through prayer, trance-states, visions, and dreams although most of us experience it as an inner voice, intuition or compulsion.

A Genius is the unique spirit which lives in every living thing. So the Romans worshiped the genius of the river, the genius of the tree, the genius of the family, the genius of the Emperor, and so on. Sacrificing to a genius was a way of harnessing its power.

For the Romans, each and every god had her own, unique, genius and that was how they could tell them apart. Jupiter's daimon was majestic, Apollo's was frightening, Venus's was sexy, and so on. The picture in this blog shows the Genius of Water - hence the outflowing arms.

Now, each of us human beings have our own, unique, genius - a kind of driving force which must fulfil its own destiny - forcing you you to become that which you are really meant to be. Ignoring your genius means not only denying the power within you but denying the core essence of who you really are. And, if you do that for too long you will eventually become ill.

Here are some common expressions of Genius:

• Teaching
• Making things work (e.g. engineering, mechanics, craftsmanship)
• Nurturing people
• Connecting to animals (pets, wildlife, endangered species, etc)
• Art
• Science
• Mathematics
• Caring for children
• Spirituality
• Leadership
• Fighting injustice, discrimination, exploitation
• Cultivating nature
• Building
• Discovering new 'truths'
• Healing others

Your daimon, or your genius, is also expressed through your genetic code (unique to you unless you have an identical twin), your emotions, your intuitions and your passions. If you regularly practice attunement to Bodymind then you will become more expert at eliciting all of these.

Some questions that can guide you

If you want find out more about your genius then here are some questions that can also help. I will supply my personal answers to the questions to help you see what I am getting at.

1. What teachers and mentors were you drawn to when you were young? These will tell you a lot about what you are here to learn.

My answer: My first mentor (age 12) was my Uncle. He gave me a thirst for education and awoke in me a desire to serve others. He also challenged me to think for myself.

2. What are you most love doing or what are you most fascinated by? What are the most interesting activities you have ever done? This will give you a clue about your (divine) passion.

My answer: Working with and exploring the hidden depth in people. Finding out how human beings work in terms of their biology, culture, emotions, society, personal history and desires.

3. What do you most detest in life? This shows you what you are here to fight and what you need to overcome in yourself.

My answer: Lies, lack of integrity, smugness and complacency.

4. What are your most rewarding moments in life? This will tell you something about your personal mission.

My answer: The birth of my children, becoming a therapist, writing (some of) my books, moments of deep connection with other human beings, discovering Reverse Therapy, and two mystical experiences in which I glimpsed an egoless state of being.

5. What drains your energy? This shows you what your daimon most needs you to avoid.

My answer: Routine, small talk, academics, television, newspapers, humorlessness, stale ideas.

6. How, and in what way, are you most creative? This, along with question 7, could be the most important questions here. Answering them truthfully reveals a lot about your personal genius.

My answer: Writing, bringing together new ideas, using my intuition to work out what is really going on with my clients, educating people, and inspiring large audiences. Blog writing.

7. What characteristics are either unique to you or which you rarely see in others? This tells you a lot about the 'character' of your daimon.

My answer: My sense of mischief, the clarity of my thoughts, my constant need to pull things down and start again.

8. What do you find it hardest to do? Answering this shows what you have to practice doing, in order to free up your genius.

My answer: Forgiving people who have hurt me. Taking time off to play, dream, and have fun.

I would be fascinated to discover what my readers have got from this blog, or what they have already discovered about their personal genius. Please do email me or leave a comment about that.

"Our daimon is both our character and our destiny".

Heraclitus (6th Century BC).

"Happiness means the full expression of your daimon. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence".

Aristotle (4th Century BC)