Reverse Thinking

Think less be more

This is a continuation of my last article on dumb thinking and how to avoid it.

Here are a few more ground rules to begin with:

Think less not more.

In general, Western societies make a fetish of thinking. In the name of 'Philosophy', 'Reason', 'Rationality', 'Science'. The idea being that, if we could only all learn to think like university lecturers then the world would be a better place. Unfortunately, history shows theat when intellectuals run the world, the place turns into a blood-bath. French 'thinkers' like Robespierre ramped up the Guillotine and The Terror while promoting The Goddess of Reason. While Lenin (author of 45 volumes of unreadable books) and Stalin (14 volumes) launched the greatest mass-murder in world history.

The result, working through the 'education' most of us receive is that we are encouraged to believe that the more we think the better life will be. Thereby ignoring the difference between enlightened thinking and destructive thinking. Enlightened thinkers are creative, communicate well, learn from their mistakes, solve problems and achieve goals. Destructive thinkers are bigots, racialists and religious maniacs. They can also be worriers, ditherers, perfectionists, guilt-trippers and depressives.

Although enlightened thinking is, perforce, good, the habit of thinking too much is to be avoided and should be balanced by present moment awareness, focused action and the cultivation of Bodymind. All these I have writen about elsewhere on this blog.

Cut down on information overload

This is really a continuation of the item before. Rarely can there have been a civilisation in history which has cultivated such a mania for information: books, newspapers, radio, television and the internet (and, yes, I know this article is on the internet - but the point remains true). I happened to be on an elevator inside the headquarters of a Bank in the City of London recently which was showing Sky News! Madness! And do any of us really need to know what journalists think about what is going on with Libya, Football matches and the Hollywood film business? 

Too much information leads to over-activity in the frontal lobes in the brain, which are the seat of Headmind. Leading to an unbalanced, fretful, cerebral approach to life. And a corresponding loss of connection to Bodymind, as well as the exercise of emotional intelligence.

Be sceptical about words

I have written about this subject elsewhere, in my article on The Danger of Words. 

Be sceptical about theories

One very bad symptom of the common adoration of scientists, psychologists, Freudian therapists and medical doctors is that we are bombarded with 'explanations' for why we human beings behave the way we do. These include, but are not limited to, the following absurd ideas:

That science explains things (it only theorises).

That we possess an 'Unconscious mind'

That human beings are rational

That childhood experiences determine personality

That we have free will

500 years ago 'depression' was thought by many writers to be caused by an excess of black bile in the blood. Now the fashionable theory is that it is caused by an excess of serotonin in the brain. Both theories are simplistic and neither is true. Nor will knowing either theory help you get better.

 

Hugh Laurie, Schopenhauer, and the art of life

This is the follow up article to Schopenhauer: a philosophy for grumpy people? Which attracted  a good response from many readers, many of whom had never heard of him, and were intrigued by his pessimism. Like Hugh Laurie in House he attracts people with his attitude problem.

In fact both Dr Gregory House and Schopenhauer have much in common:

• Both are loners
• Unconventional thinkers
• Grumpiness combined with a wish to help others
• Black humour
• Grim realism
• Mockery of conventional, pompous, people and ideas
• Atheism
• Disillusion
• A (well-disguised) compassion for others.
• Both are skilled wind-up merchants

For Schopenhauer, the world was a place he never made and little admired. Unlike almost all other philosophers, he did not believe that human beings were created to be happy. The reason for that is that our Will for personal gratification is out of all proportion to what Life can actually offer us. That, he claimed, was the reason for our continually recurring states of frustration, heartache and boredom.

Now, while I believe Schopenhauer was right in some of his diagnoses, I disagree about the cause. It is not the Universal Will which is the cause of personal misery but Headmind obsessions working through the Ego. I have written about this before in my article on How your Head F*cks You Up. 

While I agree with Schopenhauer that we are not created to be happy (because we are blessed/cursed with an enlarged Headmind/Pre-frontal cortex), I disagree that we cannot, in fact find it. We can find it if we persist, through Awareness, and through downsizing the Ego.

However, I will leave you with a few more conclusions from the Master:

• Make good use of the only thing you can control: your conscious mind.
• Strive to live in the Now
• Set limits everywhere: on desires, wealth and power. 
• Accept limitations: that leads to peace of mind. 
• Accept misfortunes: only dwell on them if you can change something about them.
• Seek out personal space and time for yourself; other people may try rob you of peace of mind.
• Keep busy, always.
• Do not expect too much from other people: like you they are only human.
• In the long run, assume disappointment will be your lot more times than not.
• You are not alone: others share your disappointments.
• Your recognition of your shared humanity with others is the basis for compassion.
• This recognition frees you from the Ego.
• At times of great difficulty you can take consolation from the fact that every other human being has endured similar difficulties.
• Contemplation of Nature, Art, Music, Literature and the Spectacle of life raises you above it.

Why guilt is useless

Guilt is a delusionary state. It doesn't serve you at all and is a creation of the imagination; of Headmind's drive towards conformity.

Here's how Headmind creates Guilt:

1. Headmind is stuffed full of judgments about the person you could be, should be, should not be, etc. Those judgments were not originally your own but inherited from other people. But gradually you internalised them and they became self-judgments.

2. These judgments are re-activated by parents, teachers, priests, employers, children and partners who may be exploiting you.

3. Your Headmind buys into those judgments because it seeks acceptance, conformity, and admiration (even from people who don't deserve your respect).

4. Dwelling on occasions in which guilt comes up - and Headmind judges you - creates uncomfortable Bodymind reactions: cringing, agitation, distress. Although Bodymind creates that discomfort in order to warn you not to indulge in guilt, Headmind interprets this as a signal that you are, indeed, a 'bad' person, worthy of punishment.

Here's another way to understand 'Guilt':

1. Earlier societies did not recognise a psychological state known as 'guilt'. For them 'guilt' was simply another word for 'debt' (as in the German/Saxon word: 'gultig'). It simply meant that one person had harmed another and was unable to put things right. For example, one person stole another person's property but was too poor to pay it back - therefore he was 'guilty' and subject to the penalties of the community.

2. Religious influences gradually changed this original meaning of guilt into 'personal sin'.

3.  When Psychology started up in Germany and America in the 19th century it took over religious ideas about 'sin' and reinterpreted them in terms of 'good' and 'evil' actions. So doing one 'bad' thing made you an 'evil' or 'guilty' person - instead of someone who simply made a mistake.  

4. Mistakes and 'bad' actions you committed in the past were based on the knowledge you possessed at the moment you committed them, no matter how daft. For example: you shop-lifted, knowing you couldn't afford something but that you 'had' to have the item anyway. You let the Headmind state of greed get the better of you.

5. Therefore your past mistakes were based on inadequate knowledge (you thought it was ok to steal, or that you wouldn't get caught, or that it wouldn't matter if you did get caught). Your predictions turned out to be wrong, although you didn't  realise that at the time.

6. Your present self-judgments are based on a false premise: your present self blames your past self even though your past self did not possess the experience of knowledge your present self now has.

Here is the truth:

1. You did not actually have free will back then when you committed your error of judgment. You did what you had to do at the time because you lacked Awareness.

2. Indulging in Headmind worry (i.e. analyzing over and over again about what an 'evil' person you were/are) may actually get in the way of your attempts to put things right.

3. If you have really done somebody wrong you could connect to the emotion of remorse and get on with making amends, rather than wasting time on guilt.


Image by Jsome1

Schopenhauer - a philosophy for grumpy people?

In my last article - Can feeling grumpy be good for you? I mentioned one of my favourite philosophers - Arthur Schopenhauer - who was a grumpy old man already by the age of 19. I first read him at 15 and developed a 'bah humbug' attitude which was delicious and self-indulgent while it lasted although I no longer think it is clever - or even profound - to be pessimistic about life. Even so, I still think that Schopenhauer possessed a genius for philosophy. (He also wrote a lot about sex).

Here are a few gems:

After your death you will be what you were before       your birth.    

Everyone takes the limit of his own field of vision for the limit of the world.

The conscious mind may be regarded as a kind of parasite of the organism, a pensioner, as it were, who dwells within the body.

If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the sight of a letter/email from that person.

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.

Console yourself by remembering that the world doesn't deserve your affection.

Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.

There is no absurdity so obvious but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to introduce it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.

The closing years of life are like a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.

Compassion is the basis of all morality.

Wicked thoughts and worthless efforts gradually set their mark on the face, especially the eyes.

The greatest of mistakes is to sacrifice health for any other kind of reward.

There is no doubt that life is given us, not to be enjoyed, but to be overcome.

In my next article I will write about the advantages - and disadvantages - of pessimism for life.

30 annoying thoughts

The universe is too complicated to make final conclusions possible

Self-pity is the worst sin

Your perceptions are based on your biography

The illusion of free will is based on vanity

You are only innocent when you live in the now

Neither Buddha or Christ believed in Religion

Serial killers are extremely boring people

Much of what happens to you is down to chance

Anger and disgust protect you

Alienation produces psychotics, revolutionaries and fundamentalists

Evil people don't understand what they do

Life is so simple that a child of five could get it

Who and what you are is reflected in your behavior

Sex differences are bigger than we imagine

Most people would rather be right than happy

The Self is just a label - perhaps no more than your name

History reveals no progress at all

Moralising is for the small-minded

Democracy is tyrannical

Chemicals have a bigger influence on people than many of us realise

Mind doesn't exist in the Head - it's something you were born into

Your past is a made-up story

Medical science prolongs life but doesn't improve it

Religion is for people who like happy endings

There is something divine in you but its outside your control

Your inner self is genetically coded

Madness is another word for defeat

'Success' and 'failure' are a matter of dates, places and opinions

Your body knows more about you than you do

Your life journey is not determined. If it were you would have been told what to do and where to go.

Image by Tumitu Design

The end of thinking

Tomorrow I am posting up the last in the series on The Effective Thinking Skills Test.

If you haven't taken that test yet you can do it here.

If you want to read previous articles in this series then here are the links:

Who cares what people think?

Effective thinking.

Reclaiming your personal power.

Reverse personality.

Emotional intelligence.

Do you run your mind or does your mind run you?

Tomorrow I will be writing about Personal ownership and self-responsibility.

Instead of wasting your time listening to your Head telling you that you are a 'victim', that other people are 'better' than you, that things happen to you by 'accident', that you need 'expert' help to run your life, or that you are a 'failure' if you are not wealthy, famous or a sex symbol - I want to show you how you can get your life back the way you want it to be.

I have enjoyed writing this series. Like St. Augustine, I often don't know what I think about anything until I have seen what I have written. So now I 'know' more than I did before about how we should be organising our minds.

Let me know if there are any other tests you'd like me to design.

Let me also know if you would like me to write another series on a different subject. I can't promise I will but I will consider all suggestions seriously.

    'Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
     Watch your words, for they become actions.
     Watch your actions, for they become habits.
     Watch your habits, for they become character.
     Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.'

Image of the Buddha at Night by MR+G

Why your life has gone wrong - and what to do about it

The most important reason our lives go wrong is that we give away our power - to Others, to  Life, to God.  We cease to take responsibility for ourselves.

Or we say that Life is Unfair. Or that God has let us down. Or that we could be ok - if it wasn't for our Partner, our Parents, our Children, our Employers, our Doctors, etc, etc.

The first step - if you are blaming others for what has happened to you - is to let it go. Whatever people have done to you happened in the past and its over. Go through a process of forgiveness and decide to make a fresh start.

When you forgive and let go you stop living in the past. That's the next step. You can now stop wasting effort on regrets, recriminations and 'if onlys' and your energy level will start to rise (you will feel relief first).

The next step is to stop waiting for Life to get better. That isn't going to happen until YOU happen to Life. To do that you are going to have to break the habit of procrastination, take risks, try something new and start being more honest with people. One of the important laws of life is that you only get out of it what you put in.

Side by side with that step you stop making excuses: 'That won't work', 'I don't know what to do/how to do it', 'People won't like it', 'It's too scary', 'I'm not attractive', 'It's too difficult', 'I don't have time', etc. Instead of making excuses, do that new course, start talking to people about the help you need, say 'No' to people who drain you and make some more time for yourself. Experiment with new clothes, hair-styles, make-up. If you are shy, then look for people who can teach you some social skills.

By now you should be well on the way to doing the single most important thing that helps you get your life back: living in the present. Not the past and not the distant future. Now. That means focusing your attention (aside from the odd ten minutes you spend planning for the immediate future) on activities that satisfy you today. It also helps if you regularly practice an awareness technique that keeps you grounded in your body in the Now. We teach people how to do this in Reverse Therapy but other approaches - Yoga, Breath training, Tai Chi, Meditation, Qi Gung - can work just as well.

When you discipline yourself to stay in the moment you are also letting go of the Headmind chatter - worries, regrets, blame, guilt, day-dreaming - that kept you locked in the past and paralysed your will.

You can learn how to stop listening to that parrot on your shoulder and start listening, instead, to yourself: your emotions, your desires, your needs, your passion, your inner drive toward love, truth, connection to others and self-fulfilling work (or play). For more advice on how to kill the parrot see Mark McGuinness's blog.

Tomorrow I will post more information on specific things you can do to build the life you really want in 2008.

This will be my last post for 2007. I want to thank all my readers for staying with me and also all those who, throughout the year, have sent me their feedback, comments and helpful suggestions.

God Bless You All

John

 

 

What is Reverse Thinking?

Reverse Thinking is a method you can apply to any idea, any statement, any situation, any problem, any solution, any explanation, or any method. It works particularly well on ideas that people take for granted, or 'received wisdom'.

Reverse Thinking assumes that the opposite way of understanding something - or the reverse idea, will be as interesting, if not more interesting than the first idea. It will certainly be more stimulating and likely to lead to more creative ways of thinking about things.

For example, we might be told that 'people get stressed because they work too hard'. The reverse idea is that they get stressed because they don't work hard enough. Which leads me (personally) to the insight that people get stressed because they don't work hard enough at doing the right things. And that gives us another way of helping people find a solution to stress.

Another good example comes out of Mark Earls' thinking about human beings as primarily social animals. So when we are told that someone is depressed the first assumption is that he has a personal problem. The reverse thought is that he has a social problem. Which leads us straight to the realisation that some people get depressed because they are living through social breakdown and are just very, very lonely. Which might encourage us to concentrate harder on helping people find a way back from exclusion.

Reverse Thinking is based on the insight that the conventional advice given to people who want to change  their behaviour creates traps for them. The multi-million dollar dieting industry is a good example. The received wisdom is that the only way to lose weight is to diet. But in most cases dieting either doesn't work or it makes things worse. Because the more you think about dieting the more you are going to think about the food you are not eating. If we apply the reverse idea (now well supported by the evidence) that dieting doesn't work, we are in a position to help people create life-styles in which the over-consumption/dieting cycle becomes irrelevant.

Reverse Thinking created Reverse Therapy. Back in 2001 I was arguing that most forms of psychotherapy keep people stuck because they focus on getting rid of the symptom. Once we reverse that and look at why symptoms are necessary (unexpressed emotion, work-life imbalance, frustration, unresolved conflict, loss of meaning and purpose, etc) we can help people resolve the real source of the problem.

Reverse Thinking is pragmatic - it focuses on new ways of thinking that trigger creative, useful actions that take change in a new direction. It is not interested in whether ideas are right or wrong - only in whether they are useful.

                                                                                                   'Our minds are lazier than our bodies'      
                                                                                                                                La Rochefoucauld